butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
