We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
