did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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