Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
