I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
