Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
