so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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