Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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