Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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