problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
