lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
