Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
