I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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