CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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