I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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