NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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