I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
