Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
No I am not eating basil off your cock
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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