There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
