someone threw a dead crab at me
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
