wakey wakey hands off snakey
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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