Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
