When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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