Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
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