tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I love having hate sex.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
