did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We had sex on a dog bed..
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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