So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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