When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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