I wannas sexs uuuuu
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm both gender and math confused
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
