We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
