Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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