he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
