You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize