i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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