and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
