Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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