I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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