Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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