I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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