I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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