i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
