she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize