It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
