Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She needs sedatives and a leash
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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