Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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