I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
