i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
