The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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