How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
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I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
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I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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