I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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