if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
