Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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