she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
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When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
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Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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