So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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