Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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