I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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