I'm really into asian looking animals
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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