Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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