just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
