HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
