he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
