Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
