Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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