I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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