I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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