help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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