I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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